John Wick’s deadly proficiency with literally any object, weapon or otherwise, is one of the most popular aspects of the film series named after him; he did kill three men with a pencil, after all. The positive reception the character has received led to the announcement of a fourth installment in the series shortly after the premiere of John Wick: Chapter 3 as well as the announcement of a strategy game close behind. Although you’ll have to wait for John Wick Hex to truly stand in Wick’s shoes, that doesn’t mean you can’t feel like the Baba Yaga right now. Here are ten games in which you can feel as deadly as John Wick with a simple, everyday objects.
Yo-yo – The Earthbound/Mother Series
The yo-yo: innocent plaything, or deadly weapon? The answer is the latter if you’re a fan of the Earthbound/Mother series. While the yo-yo has never historically been used as a weapon in reality (according to the Museum of Yo-Yo History), it has been used a number of video games throughout gaming history. That said, the item was most infamously wielded in the Earthbound/Mother series’ second installment where they became a staple in the armory of 13-year-old Ness on his quest to save the world from alien invaders. The trusty yo-yo appears in Mother 3 as well, with Lucas taking on cyborg dinosaurs with his yo-yo by his side. The yo-yo is such a staple of the Mother series that Ness carried it with him in his debut appearance in Super Smash Bros. To this day, the yo-yo is his down smash in the fighting-game franchise, proving the yo-yo can be as deadly as Solid Snake.
Briefcase – Hitman 2
One of the deadliest, and most hilarious, items-turned-weapons in recent history is the homing briefcase in Hitman 2. What was once a mundane storage item has become infamous for its unusual ability to follow its victims when thrown. This peculiarity has since been patched to reduce its fatal impact, but the videos of its hilarity remain immortalized by the internet. Though Agent 47 and John Wick share many similarities, a path-finding briefcase may be enough to put the bar-coded assassin on top.
Cuccos – The Legend of Zelda Series
When Cuccos, a staple animal throughout the Zelda series, aren’t being used as instruments of flight or food in Kakariko Village, they prove to be a deadly adversary. Do enough damage to a Cucco and a flurry of angry chickens will swarm the attacker, dealing a serious amount of damage with every blow. If Link grabs one at a stable or in a village, brings it with him into a battle, and tricks the enemy into hitting it in one of Hyrule’s many dungeons, he can just sit back and watch the carnage ensue. The Cucco is not to be underestimated. That would be a deadly mistake.
Berries – The Pokémon Series
There aren’t many items in the Pokémon games that can be used as weapons that you – as the Pokémon trainer – have control over. Cubone uses a bone, Farfetch’d uses a leek, but you have no input over these objects; they simply come with the Pokémon. However, there is a move your Pokémon can learn called Fling. This dark-type move can be learned, either through leveling or TM, by hundreds of Pokémon. What does this move do? It allows your Pokémon to throw their held object at the opponent for a certain amount of damage determined by the held object. Pokémon can, of course, hold the berries that are scattered throughout the Pokémon regions. Berries may not do a lot of damage, but they are everywhere! All you have to do is stock up at various routes and towns along your quest to be the very best. It doesn’t get more “everyday” in the Pokémon world than berries.
Folding Chair – Persona 4
Chairs are usually instruments of relaxation and rest, letting us rest our weary feet and play some video games. However, those same chairs can be used to bash shadows into non-existence through Persona 4’s Kanji Tatsumi. Kanji is a character built on brute strength, able to wield plates and shields as his primary skull-busting items. However, early in the game, he can equip a folding chair as his primary method of attack. Though he does have a persona with the power of electricity to fall back on, it’s far more satisfying to smack a shadow with a chair. He even brought the chair with him for his appearance in the fighting spin-off series Persona 4 Arena, where it serves as his primary weapon.
TVs – Silent Hill: Origins
TVs have been weapons of horror since 1982 when ghosts reached through the TV screen in Poltergeist. 2007’s Silent Hill: Origins finally turns that weapon back on the spirit world, allowing protagonist Travis Grady to throw TV sets at monsters in a beautiful karmic twist. Although the TV breaks after a single use, its potential to knock monsters over makes the TV a valuable asset in the arsenal of all John Wick wannabes. What’s more ordinary than the object you typically use to play video games in the first place
A Pencil – Deltarune
The iconic John Wick object-turned-weapon has a very different use in Toby Fox’s Undertale follow-up, Deltarune. The player character, Kris, spends most of the game in a magical kingdom called the Dark World connected to their school. Whether the kingdom really exists or is entirely imagined by Kris is up for speculation, but the weapon remains the same. The pencil that Kris brings with them into the Dark World transforms into a deadly sword wielded against the Darkners. The game can be played without killing any of the creatures, much like Undertale, but when it is wielded in the name of aggression, it proves to be a very formidable weapon. If Kris buys and equips the Spookysword in the Dark World, when they return to the real world, the sword will turn into a Halloween pencil. Why use one pencil, when you can use two?
Salt – The Yakuza Series
From bicycles to bowling balls, Yakuza’s Kazuma Kiryu is nearly as adept at using the basic objects as John Wick. However, none of these objects are as mundane as a simple saltshaker. Though the saltshaker is relatively weak compared to other items, it is one of the cheapest weapons to purchase in-game and also causes the enemy to momentarily go blind. With a status effect combined with its affordability, the saltshaker quickly rises through the ranks to become a useful weapon in the hands of the Dragon of Dojima.
Broom – The Assassin's Creed Series
This everyday object has proven to be so successful on the battlefield that it was given an achievement all its own. The Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood Xbox achievement “Spring Cleaning” is the reward for killing a guard with the broom, an item that can be collected after finishing a few story missions. There is no better tool for cleaning up the streets of Italy than a tool for literally cleaning up the streets of Italy. While the achievement is a solid reward for our efforts, the irony is the only reward we truly need.
CDs – The Dead Rising Series
In what we can only imagine to be a Shaun of the Dead reference, CDs can be thrown at zombies throughout the Dead Rising series. While the weapons in Shaun of the Dead are vinyl, the idea still comes through as you pelt the undead with all your old Avril Lavigne albums. Though the CDs don’t hit for a lot of damage, the advantage to being trapped in a mall means there are plenty of opportunities to load up on your favorite hits. If you have good aim, a headshot with a CD could prove fatal for some zombie attackers. If you’re ever in need of some music or projectiles, head over to CD Crazy in Willamette mall to replenish your stock.
For more like this, check out the John Wick Hex reveal or what a John Wick NES game would look like.
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