I can’t bring myself to believe that someone on planet Earth genuinely thought that limited edition Sonic curry would be a good idea. And yet here we are, staring down the barrel of a deep blue curry container, wondering where it all went so incredibly wrong.
I was recently browsing Reddit, as one does, and was reading up on lots of interesting information about games. A bit of Pokemon here, some Witcher there — oh, there’s something about Sonic that’s got lots of upvotes, I wonder what that i-
Oh no. Not like this.
“Bet this gives you the runs,” reads the caption. I’m almost certain it would – it looks like Powerade that’s been left to coagulate in a boiler for too long. And look at the limited edition box – it looks like something you’d get cereal in! I can’t believe my eyes – how has this come to pass? A single glimpse at this nightmarish culinary disaster is enough to lose faith in every single food regulation that has ever been passed, because if this can get past health and safety guidelines, anything can.
I can’t bear to think about the horrible, atrocious, disgusting Sonic curry any longer, so instead I’m going to direct you elsewhere on the site to read things that are much more interesting, and far less disgusting.
For example, we recently got our first look at the world and protagonist of Final Fantasy 16, while also getting our first laugh at the fact someone spent $375,000 on fake Pokemon cards (as advised by Logan Paul’s agent, no less). On top of that, No More Heroes is now available on Switch, and you should definitely play it.
It’s no good, is it. I’m still visualizing the Sonic curry. I think I can taste it. It tastes like a blueberry bon bon that’s had all the sugar replaced with sand, which has been dyed blue just to trick you. It’s very asphalt-y. I think this is the worst culinary disaster that has ever happened.
Read next: If You’re Playing Genshin Impact For More Than An Hour A Day, You’re Playing It Wrong
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- Sonic The Hedgehog
Cian Maher is an Associate Editor at TheGamer. He’s also had work published in The Guardian, The Washington Post, The Verge, Vice, Wired, and more. His favourite game of all time is and always will be The Witcher 3, but he also loves The Last Guardian, NieR: Automata, Dishonored, and pretty much every Pokemon game ever released. You can find him on Twitter @cianmaher0.
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